Posts Tagged ‘Plumber’

About the plumber who lives in my mailbox…

January 27th, 2010

This man is in my consciousness at least once a day

Junk mail is good business they tell me, and by the number of old men pulling shopping carts around town and stopping at mailboxes, junk mail is a thriving business. I clear my mailbox most days and every single time I get a little notice from a plumber telling me about the great service he offers. If I miss taking up the mail for a day, then the next time I do, there will be two notices form the plumber. I hope his pipe-work is as efficient as his flyer delivery service!

The service details

The plumber’s flyer reads: “Emergency 24 hour service, just dial the free-call number; leak detection by means of a thermal camera, 31 years experience in the business, design and upgrading bathrooms, improvements to the water pressure, opening of blockages in pipes and free consultations at your place. Just call us.”

The users

I know what I do with these notices – I usually crumple them up into a little ball and try and flick it into the trash bin that stands close to the row of mailboxes. Most times I miss and then do my daily stretching exercise which is bending down to pick it up. I have never heard of anyone calling this particular plumber, and the truth is that he only has a phone number with no address or name. That’s okay – I understand that his entire organization is in the back of his truck and that he may or may not have a name. I guess when a pipe bursts at 3am and you need a plumber in one burning hurry, it won’t matter if his name is Joe or Cecil, just as long as he gets there in zero seconds and can deal with the water problem.

The flyers

I asked a printer once about the flyer business. It’s great, he said. I print thousands upon thousands of them and its good business. It’s also great for the distributors. If you look around the town you will see many older folk pulling shopping bags. It’s providing them both an income and healthy exercise and keeping them occupied. As far as the advertiser, in your case the plumber is concerned, I understand that they work on a ‘hit’ rate of 1 in ten thousand. If they get 2 hits in ten thousand they are showing a profit. So everybody gains in this situation. The only loser is you, the guy who has to dispose of the unwanted flyer. And that’s no big deal.

The truth?

I have one of these flyers stuck on the door of my fridge just in case the worst happens in the dark hours. I have no doubt that this enterprising plumber who advertises so regularly and so persistently is a good businessman and is also the most expensive plumber, not only in town, but in the entire region. I would call him.

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Tags: Flyers, Junkmail, Mailboxes. Emergency services, Plumber
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