Archive for the ‘Employment’ Category

You Were Probably a Stamp Collector As Well

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February 7th, 2012

Remember what stamp collecting was like back in the 60’s?

Back in the sixties collecting stamps was all the rage. There were articles in the newspapers and every city had stamp dealers. Most of the collectors did it for the hobby while others thought about future values. 50 years later I’m sitting with a cupboard full of stamp albums. Stamp collecting went out of fashion when countries began issuing huge numbers of stamps. The hobby also faded against the competition of electronic games and computers.

I never thought twice

I too moved into the computer age, and my stamp collection occupied valuable space in my study. I knew it was there within easy reach any time I got the urge to pull out the magnifying glass and check the little pieces of paper for a misprint that would make it worth millions. The years passed and every time I saw my wife eyeing the stamp cupboard while in search of extra storage space, I would quickly explain that inside the cupboard was not a stamp collection, but our retirement fund.

I take a Payday Loan to make sure

Last summer when the humidity went through the roof I thought of all those mint stamps and how the humidity might be affecting them. I decided to hermetically seal the stamp cupboard and I called in a carpenter for a quotation. The price was horrendous. My wife yelled about the new shoes that I had nixed the week before. Our retirement fund, I explained and settled with the carpenter.

Back to the future

With possible humidity damage to my valuable stamp collection safely behind me, I went back to writing the great American novel. I was on page 323 and all was going according to plan. There were a few anxious moments like when the sub-prime mortgage scandal surfaced. I read the papers, shuddered, cast a glance at my hermetically sealed retirement fund and started a new chapter, always a milestone event. I reckoned I was halfway through the story and that the second half would be a breeze.

More money problems

One day there was a twitch on the stock exchange where the other half of my retirement fund was living in secure comfort. I groaned, sent a few choice four-letter words in the direction of Wall Street and lovingly stroked the stamp cupboard. We don’t need that old stock exchange, do we? I whispered. Cupboard remained silent but I took it that he agreed. I continued with chapter 59.

Out for dinner

At the Simpsons the other evening I was introduced to Phil, a well-known philatelist. I settled back to let him bring me up to date on the stamp market and my collection. It didn’t take long. “It’s all gone down the drain. Very few stamps have any value. The whole market collapsed,” he explained angrily. I guess he had a retirement fund as well.

Now what?

I grabbed my wife and we raced home. Between us we typed the final chapter of the novel, leaving out the last 200 pages. I need an editor urgently. I want this book, aka my retirement fund, in the bookstores by Easter.

Tags: Philately, Retirement fund, Stamp collecting
Posted in Business, Economy, Employment, Finance, Money, Payday Loans, Personal / Internet | No Comments »

You Are A Facebook User, Right?

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February 5th, 2012

So where were you on Day 1?

To my everlasting disappointment I regret a missed opportunity. I was junior clerk in an engineering office downtown. Next door was a small insurance company. One of the clerks working there was a neighbor of mine in the street where I lived out in the suburbs. He was a few years older than I and we were only on nodding terms, both at home on the street and in the office corridors. From experience gained while working at the insurance company he started up his own insurance company. He collected money from friends by way of $1,000 “investment lots” and gave them shares in exchange. For some reason he never offered me any shares. His new company took off and became, and still is, a major international insurance company and his friends who invested became rich.

The Facebook story

Now it’s Facebook time. At the very start of the Facebook story, a guy called David Choe was asked to paint murals on the walls of the offices. Choe, who says his “dirty-style figure paintings combine themes of desire, degradation, and exaltation”, took shares in Facebook instead of a cash payment. He chose to gamble his fee and now the shares look like being the hottest property on the US stock market.

Street artist

Choe calls his painting style “dirty.” In his documentary, he says his smeared and smudged painting method comes from being left-handed when he was little. He told an art magazine, “dirty styles is painting on found object besides a blank piece of paper or blank white wall … so even before you start there’s some history, there’s some spills, chills and marks, then you keep creating more history on top of that, spilling, spraying, dripping, creaming, collaging, making a mess. I create hope from dark beginnings.”

The Facebook IPO

With Facebook being pitched in the $75-$100 billion range, those murals could turn out to be more expensive than the $140 million paid in 2006 for Pollock’s No 5, 1948, or even the $200.7 million paid at auction for a collection of Damien Hirst pieces in 2008. Jackson Pollock may lose his record for creating the most expensive painting ever, not to another enfant terrible of the art world, but to a minor Los Angeles mural painter who happened upon the Facebook offices in 2005.

New-found wealth

Although Choe declined to speak about his new-found wealth, his Facebook fanpage tells his story: “In 2005, internet entrepreneur Sean Parker, a longtime fan, asked him to paint graphic sexual murals in the interior of Facebook’s first Silicon Valley office, and in 2007, Facebook chief executive Mark Zuckerberg commissioned him to paint somewhat tamer murals for their next office.”

Millionaires and billionaires

David Choe could be the unlikeliest of all the millionaires and billionaires who will be minted by the social network’s flotation this year. If the company hits the top valuations being talked about, then Choe will have been paid about $200 million for the “graphic sexual murals” that adorned Facebook’s walls in its early years. Is he a good artist? Who cares?

Tags: facebook, IPOs, Shares
Posted in Business, Economy, Employment, Finance, Money, Personal / Internet, Technology | No Comments »

The Partners’ Meeting Took Place This Morning

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February 1st, 2012

How much do I hate the IRS? This much!

It’s been a torrid morning and it’s left me in a ratty mood. If I had staff working in my office I would fire everyone right now! However, mine is a one-man writing practice. It’s kept pretty busy, or as busy as I want it to be. It allows for such pleasures as an extra-long lunch hour with a friend. The office is a few steps away from the bedroom and it boasts all modern conveniences such as a computer, fax and telephone.

Office hours

The biggest disadvantage of my business is the long hours; I work a 24-an-hour day. This doesn’t mean that I am working all the time, but the office is open to anyone who calls. The financing arrangements are simple. I finance everything. I have a partner who makes no contributions at all. When there is a cash crisis, I cut back and suffer in silence.

My partner

I have a partner, aka the Government, alias the IRS, also known as the Income Tax Department and secretly known by me at various times of the month as “The Bloodsucker”, “The Parasite”, “The Thief” and some shorter 4 letter versions of all the above.

The partners’ meeting

Because we are such close partners we meet regularly, and I as the active partner, divulge all the intimate secrets of the business. I tell him about my clients and about my new clients. I boast about the amount of work I have been doing and I list the amounts of writing I have done to impress him. He, being the sleeping partner, simply gazes at everything and remains silent. I was at his office this morning. We decided a long time ago to meet there and not where I work. Unlike my desk which is always covered with stacks of papers, little notes on the back of coffee-shop napkins and a hundred reference books, his desk is clear, containing only a computer screen and keyboard.

The partnership arrangement

We have a partnership agreement. It is simple and straightforward and is based directly on the sharing of income. This is what led to the argument this morning. After I had formally tabled the trading results for the past year my partner looked at me, smiled, nodded his head in delight and said “thirty-seven point three percent”. I laughed and thumped the table with my fist saying, “very funny indeed! Got any other jokes for me?” “I’ll check it,” he grumbled and went back to the keyboard and then said, “I beg your pardon, you are right. I made a mistake. Thirty-seven point one percent.” This time I hit the top of his desk with the palm of my hand, sending off a loud bang and causing the keyboard to leap into the air.

My partner is upset

“There is no need for that,” said my partner. “We have an agreement, after all.”

“What about your contribution?” I yelled. “What did you do to justify your share?”

“I am upset by your attitude,” he said. So my partner is upset? Who cares?

Tags: Earnings, Income tax, IRS, Partnerships
Posted in Business, Economy, Employment, Finance | No Comments »

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