The Partners’ Meeting Took Place This Morning

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February 1st, 2012

How much do I hate the IRS? This much!

It’s been a torrid morning and it’s left me in a ratty mood. If I had staff working in my office I would fire everyone right now! However, mine is a one-man writing practice. It’s kept pretty busy, or as busy as I want it to be. It allows for such pleasures as an extra-long lunch hour with a friend. The office is a few steps away from the bedroom and it boasts all modern conveniences such as a computer, fax and telephone.

Office hours

The biggest disadvantage of my business is the long hours; I work a 24-an-hour day. This doesn’t mean that I am working all the time, but the office is open to anyone who calls. The financing arrangements are simple. I finance everything. I have a partner who makes no contributions at all. When there is a cash crisis, I cut back and suffer in silence.

My partner

I have a partner, aka the Government, alias the IRS, also known as the Income Tax Department and secretly known by me at various times of the month as “The Bloodsucker”, “The Parasite”, “The Thief” and some shorter 4 letter versions of all the above.

The partners’ meeting

Because we are such close partners we meet regularly, and I as the active partner, divulge all the intimate secrets of the business. I tell him about my clients and about my new clients. I boast about the amount of work I have been doing and I list the amounts of writing I have done to impress him. He, being the sleeping partner, simply gazes at everything and remains silent. I was at his office this morning. We decided a long time ago to meet there and not where I work. Unlike my desk which is always covered with stacks of papers, little notes on the back of coffee-shop napkins and a hundred reference books, his desk is clear, containing only a computer screen and keyboard.

The partnership arrangement

We have a partnership agreement. It is simple and straightforward and is based directly on the sharing of income. This is what led to the argument this morning. After I had formally tabled the trading results for the past year my partner looked at me, smiled, nodded his head in delight and said “thirty-seven point three percent”. I laughed and thumped the table with my fist saying, “very funny indeed! Got any other jokes for me?” “I’ll check it,” he grumbled and went back to the keyboard and then said, “I beg your pardon, you are right. I made a mistake. Thirty-seven point one percent.” This time I hit the top of his desk with the palm of my hand, sending off a loud bang and causing the keyboard to leap into the air.

My partner is upset

“There is no need for that,” said my partner. “We have an agreement, after all.”

“What about your contribution?” I yelled. “What did you do to justify your share?”

“I am upset by your attitude,” he said. So my partner is upset? Who cares?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 1st, 2012 at 5:38 am and is filed under Business, Economy, Employment, Finance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

The Partners’ Meeting Took Place This Morning

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