Okay, I Surrender, Send Me the Ipad

November 28th, 2010

No laptop, no iPad, so I can’t travel anywhere
I never thought it would come to this. On the screen under this article is the application form for a Payday Loan so that I can finally become mobile by buying an iPad. I have fought and resisted to the point where I feel I am about to be cut off by the modern world that I live in. I certainly wasn’t born into this crazy information and communication age, it has been thrust upon me and I’m tired of fighting it. I want the latest generation of wireless iPad with all the trimmings and extras. If there are bells and whistles as an optional extra, send them too.

What will happen?
I know exactly what will happen. You good folks at AdvanceLoan.net will grant the cash advance loan, the computer store will grant my every wish and send me the latest iPad. About 3 minutes after I unwrap the parcel the newspapers will hit the streets announcing Apple’s latest iPad and describing all the new features that the previous generation didn’t have. That’s okay, I will be pleased to be only one generation behind. I’m writing this article on steam-powered word processor – how’s that for being out of date!

Life with an iPad
According to the ads and publicity I will finally be able to put my grandchildren’s’ photos where I can carry them around and show them off. For years they have been locked inside my desk computer where only I can see them. Same goes for all the holiday pictures I have taken over the past 10 years.

The newspapers
I will be able to become a coffee-shop-onliner. Every day I walk past the coffee shops in the mall and I look at all the guys sitting there with their laptops. Now and again I stop and ask them what they are doing. Most of the answers: “reading the NY Times, reading the LA Times, reading the London Times.” I could live with that, I thought, as long as the coffee’s good.

The stock exchange
I can be just about anywhere and still get live prices on my few stocks instead of waiting to get home to get the bad news. I can also contact my broker online and buy and sell stocks wherever I am.

Books
I understand that once I have an iPad I do not need a Kindle or a Nook or any other book reader. The iPad will do everything that those readers do and more. Already I’m saving money by buying an iPad!

Email
I will get all my email immediately. No waiting. And of course if I am so inclined, I can reply immediately. I will have a problem with some of the men-only jokes that come around here; they are definitely not coffee-shop material!

My Payday Loan
AdvanceLoan.net, please prepare my Payday Loan. My work output will rise and will have no problem repaying the loan. Who is going to pay for all the coffee?

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This entry was posted on Sunday, November 28th, 2010 at 9:13 am and is filed under Employment, Payday Loans, Personal / Internet. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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