How do you mean, you bought 2 pairs of shoes? Er… Honey

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February 1st, 2010

Is the global economic crisis wrecking your relationship?

The global economic crisis has been having a strange effect on relationships. Couples who want to split can’t afford to and are being forced to continue living together. Not only is divorce expensive, but they can’t easily sell their properties. Financial stresses, brought on by growing debt and retrenchments are testing relationships to the limit, especially when couples do not share the same values and attitudes to money.

Look at this couple

They are Annabelle and Roger, editor and engineer. “We met, dated and were so in love we thought moving in together was the logical next step.” They bought a house together three years ago. Neither of them had lived with another person before. Almost immediately, cracks appeared in their relationship. Apart from dealing with each other’s moods and personality and behavioral quirks, they found that household finances, including a payday advance became a major source of contention, and intense arguments ensued. Roger says, “Although I had no doubt that we were compatible at the beginning of our relationship, living together and the attendant money issues showed how incompatible we actually were.”

Money

Roger paid the bond, the rates and utilities, while Annabelle paid the domestic worker and gardening service, bought the groceries and small household items such as a new kettle. Annabelle assumed that because Roger earned double her salary (although they never discussed actual figures), he was happy to pay the mortgage and the “big” things. She was convinced that she was contributing fairly. “I started to resent her as I was working feverishly each month to pay off the mortgage, while she went out to lunch every day and bought oil paintings,” says Roger.

No financial plan

They should have had a financial plan. Then they would have discussed fair ways to split the costs as well as build a budget, so that expenses were paid without conflict. Each partner would have been honest about what they could afford, considering that they also have other obligations such as medical aid and car insurance. It would make sense for Roger to continue to pay the mortgage, but Annabelle could contribute more to utilities and rates. She could also stick to an agreed budget and not overspend on groceries and luxuries. In turn, Annabelle could insist that Roger stop continually chastising her, as long as she paid the household bills.

Monthly expenses

Even before they moved in together or rushed out to buy the house, they should have agreed on many things especially the matter of their finances. They should have agreed that they both put money each month into a separate household bank account to take care of the bills for groceries, utilities, rates, domestic and gardening help as well as other incidentals. Both partners should have access to this.

Breaking point

This couple is living at breaking point brought about by financial “non-understanding”. It won’t take much to tear this one apart.

Cash Advance Loans

This entry was posted on Monday, February 1st, 2010 at 12:29 pm and is filed under Economy, Finance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

How do you mean, you bought 2 pairs of shoes? Er… Honey

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