Rolex – I surrender. Please send my watch

December 17th, 2009

How many ads does it take to change a man’s watch?
You’ve done it, Rolex. Your ad campaign is an outright winner. It is so compelling that I throw up my hands in surrender and grudgingly say, “OK, send it!” My full name and mailing address will follow in due course. Now I will try and choose the model I like.

The ad campaign – Monday
Your campaign has gone like this: On Monday you featured the Pilot’s Watch and the Driver’s Watch. These days my flying consists of sitting in cattle-class near the back of the plane usually surrounded by crying babies. I doubt that the Pilot’s Model would distract or keep them quiet. As for the Driver’s Watch, yes, I do drive but my current car has a huge illuminated digital watch in the dashboard. It is even more prominent than the speedometer and I think I will continue to rely on that.

Tuesday
Tuesday showed a full page ad of your Leader model. This watch is for me. I felt excited looking at it and wished I would have had such a gleaming watch on my wrist in the days when I was a leader. Those days are over, unfortunately. A revolution here, a coup there and it was back to the regular hum-drum life for me. That watch is no longer relevant.

Wednesday
On Wednesday we saw the Explorer. In the picture it looks like a smart piece of design and engineering. I am sure the great explorers of the world would be pleased to have such a watch on their wrists. These days I seem to do most of my exploring in the supermarkets so I’ll pass on this model as well.

Thursday
The Deep Dive Watch. This one is definitely not for me. I have never lived near the sea and the truth is that I don’t really like water except when it’s mixed with a tot of whisky. Have you ever thought about a Whisky Drinker’s model, a watch that will show you when its time to quit or better still, will show you how much time is left?

My suggestion
I would like to suggest a new range of watches to you. You use the words ‘New Generation’ freely in your ads. How about an Older Generation Model? What we er, seniors need is a watch that never stops or requires a battery change, which always tells the correct time and has no other features. I don’t need to know about the phases of the moon, the time in Hong Kong, the depth I’ve sunk to or how many miles an hour I’m doing trudging along the sidewalk. It must have big numbers and hands the size of soup-plates so I don’t have to find my spectacles in order to see the time. A leather strap with a buckle will be fine too. Let me know when it’s available – I’m a buyer! Oh yeah, about the price…

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